Do Not Buy is an ignominious rant against horrible crimes in men’s clothing. May contain: EXTREME SARCASM, DERISION, ANIMOSITY, MALICE, and/or PEEVISHNESS. Caution is advised.
Are your feet square? Of course they aren’t. So, why are people trying to sell you shoes that make your feet look like giant blocks? Because some people were willing to buy it. Stop this. Please, stop this. I’m begging you.
Again, the entire point of clothing is to make you look better wearing it, than do you without it. Square toe shoes break this completely. They make your
foot look huge. And this isn’t a good look on anyone except Bozo the clown. As a man with big feet already , I know the problems that come with “clown feet” (except for balance… balance is awesome). Don’t introduce this phenomenon into your life needlessly. If you’re anything like me, you’re probably goofy enough already, no need to bring giant shoes into it.
Seriously, square toe shoes make you look like you forgot to take the shoes out of the boxes before wearing them down the street. This is not natural.
Your feet do not look like boxes. Neither should your shoes.
You want your shoes to look like a better, sexier version of your feet. They should invoke images of style, class, and swagger; not storage.
I can hear some of you still fighting this:
“But, square toe shoes give my toes more room to move about.”
Or roam; or wander; or whatever. You know what else gives your toes room enough to move? Shoes that fit. Frankly, if your toes can move enough to “roam”, then they can move enough to rub and get blisters. And blisters suck.
Instead, Get the Classic Round
Just like square toed shoes are too wide for your feet, point toes are too narrow, but let’s not get started on that one…
Instead of wasting money on a square toed shoe, invest in a classic shape; buy a shoe with a rounded toe. Check out our essentials guide to formal dress shoes for some ideas. The round toe will flatter your natural foot shape, and look great for years.
Have something that you hate about men’s clothing? Think I’m dead wrong? Put it in the comments and I may choose your pet peeve to roast in an upcoming episode!